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5-best Words That Sound Like Swear Words - But Aren't:

1. Shiitake
2. Uvula
3. Uranus
4. Caulk
5. Cork

...you're nothing but a shiitake cork soaker.

Albums

5-best Albums of all time:

1. "Joshua Tree" - U2
2. "Dark Side of the Moon" - Pink Floyd
3. "4" - Led Zeppelin
4. "Moving Pictures" - Rush
5. "Shakespeare My Butt" - Lowest of the Low

...and if they had genitalia they'd have frozen their nuts off