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5-best Words That Sound Like Swear Words - But Aren't:

1. Shiitake
2. Uvula
3. Uranus
4. Caulk
5. Cork

...you're nothing but a shiitake cork soaker.

Albums

5-best Albums of all time:

1. "Joshua Tree" - U2
2. "Dark Side of the Moon" - Pink Floyd
3. "4" - Led Zeppelin
4. "Moving Pictures" - Rush
5. "Shakespeare My Butt" - Lowest of the Low

...and if they had genitalia they'd have frozen their nuts off

Famous People I'd Sleep With

Taken straight from an episode of "Friends" here is the most famous 5-best list ever...

5-best famous people I would sleep with if I had the chance:

1. Rachel McAdams
2. Scarlett Johanson
3. Catherine Zeta-Jones (Douglas)
4. Katherine Heigl
5. Charlize Theron

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... and Us Weekly magazine.